Children and story telling. A wonderful combination. It is one of the beautiful things about teaching when students share their stories. Stories may start with “One time I went to…” or “I have a pet dog named…” or “My mom is xx years old.” (Don’t worry, we won’t repeat the last one to anyone).

I believe that when parents hear stories from school, they should become active, curious listeners and engage in dialogue with their child about what he/she is sharing. This will look different for each child, depending on the age of the child and the storied shared.

There are times in a child’s school life when the he/she will come home and share a story about their day that may make you cringe. As a parent you may hear about “bullying” or someone getting hurt, or adults doing nothing to help. In these cases, I encourage you to continue to be active listeners and suspend judgment until you hear the your child’s full story.

When conflict arises on the playground or in the classroom, it is very important that we try to understand the full story (or as close to the full story as possible). Quite often there are more than two sides to any school story, and your child’s story will be from one point of view.

After hearing your child’s story, let him/her know that you will contact his/her teacher (or myself) and to ask about the incident or situation. Once again, suspend judgment, and seek understanding from the school about the incident. The adults in the school may not know about the incident, or we are already involved but the information you share will prove useful. We may need to investigate and talk to adults or other children before we can determine our next answers.

If you find yourself angry about the story your child has shared, take the time to breathe and calm down prior to sending the email or making the phone call. Actions taken in anger do not always move us towards positive solutions. Actions taken in anger may make people defensive and put up barriers to communication that are needed to ensure that our school is a safe and caring place for all student.

Being curious is a great way of supporting you child (or children) as they learn, share and grow.

Listen actively, reactive calmly, and communicate openly with the school. We work together to make this a great school for everyone.

Take care.