Many issues come up when teaching children and discussing challenges with students, staff, parents and families. This year, some of the discussions I have had have focused on: anxiety, stress, too much homework, too little homework, bullying, bad language, not following the code of conduct, yelling, lunch play, food allergies, name calling, compassion, hitting, sharing tire swings, inside or outside days when raining, math instruction, learning French, social responsibility, tolerance, attending school, being late for school, accepting personal responsibility, teasing, seating arrangements in class, coping strategies, responding positively to adult support or interventions, playing fair, being kind, not throwing things in classrooms, using technology to aid learning, being respectful of property, honesty, etc. The list can go on.

I have become more interested lately in how we (parents and school) can teach children to be resilient.

There are enough stories of children becoming upset about what a friend did or did not do. We have tears over children being ignored, being teased, or when they heard a friend say that another friend said something about them to another friend. These events in children’s lives become very important to them, and they have an impact on the children and their learning.

How do we help? Sometimes we sit down with the children and try to work out problems. This can be quite the challenge at times, as the stories are not always clear, and at times point to both children as having a responsibility for the problems.

If children come home and share some of these problems, it is important for families to listen, but also to be curious about the story. Ask your child about their part of the problem. If you still have questions about the story, contact your child’s teacher first with any questions.

Sometimes we talk to each child and try teach some skills on how to respond to negative social situations. We try to teach them to be resilient. Resilience – an individual’s tendency to cope with stress and adversity (source Phychological resilience – Wikipedia). Teaching resiliency is a very worthwhile educational goal, but one that needs to start at home.

Here are some information from the web about teaching resilience:

• 14 Ways to Teach our Kids Resilience – This provides a good list of skills to teach. Two keys skills that I like to focus on are teaching responsibility and teaching positive focus.
• Resilience Guide for Parents & Teachers – From the American Physiological Association.
• RISK, RESILIENCE AND FUTURISTS: THE CHANGING LIVES OF OUR CHILDREN – This is an article found at the Center for Development and Learning.

The focus on teaching children to be more resilient in the face of social difficulties is in no way meant to deflect from issues of bullying or mean behaviours. Rather, it is to help give students the skills and tools necessary to ensure a positive self image and that they can bounce back from troubling situations.

Together, we can teach children how to handle adversity and stress, and how they can be in charge of how they feel.

Take care.