A questions that I often hear is “Is there bullying at your school?” I am not always sure how to answer that. Sometimes it feels like the person who is asking is expecting me to say “No. We have no bullying here.” Other times it feels like a bit of a trap, and they are waiting for me to say the wrong thing.

It would be a wonderful thing to be able to say that we have no bullying at school. I would love to report that all children and adults treat each other with kindness and show respect at all times.

Sorry. I can’t report that.

What I can report on is that I believe that students, the staff, parents and yours truly are working on creating a school culture where everyone feels valued and everyone knows how to handle social challenges, including mean behaviours or bullying.

We survey children in grades 4 to 7 each year about a variety of issues related to social responsibility. 96% of these students report that they know how they are expected to behave at school, and that they know our Code of Conduct. However, when asked if they have been bullied or teased at school, only 47% of students responded with “Never.” We have some work to do.

Whenever I discuss the responses to this survey, a couple of questions always come up:

• How do you define bullying?
• What are you doing about bullying and teasing?

How do we define bullying?

Simply put, bullying is a pattern of unwelcome or aggressive behaviour, often with the goal of making others uncomfortable, scared or hurt. It’s almost always used as a way of having control or power over their target, and it is often based on another person’s appearance, culture, race, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation or gender identity. (taken from the ERASE Bullying web site)

What are you doing about bullying and teasing?

We review our Code of Conduct with students on a regular basis. We teach virtues in every class (i.e. Respect, Tolerance, Compassion) and hold assemblies celebrating these virtues. Teachers use a number of resources (i.e. Focus on Bullying, Kids in the Know, Second Step, Friends, Stand By Me) with classes to teach socially responsible behaviours and how to respond to challenging behaviours. We hold class meetings which focus on problem solving or building a positive class culture. We encourage students to be socially responsible (see performance scale on social responsibility). We have students fill in “Think Sheets” and send them home to help parents be aware of their child’s behaviour. We work with parents when a child is demonstrating challenging behaviours. We sometimes work one-to-one with students to focus on improving their behaviour at school or online.

We also build relationships. Children will seek out adult help if they know that the adults in the building care about them. Relationships are the key to a successful school. When challenging behaviours do happen, children need to feel that there are “tellable” adults (someone they can talk to) in the school who can help them. If a child is feeling picked on, teased or bullied, we would want them to be able to find someone who they trust will help. Positive relationships between teachers are parents also help create a safe and caring climate for children.

Sometimes the help children receive may not be the help they want. Sometimes they want the other child kicked out of the school or class. Sometimes they want to run away from their problems. Sometimes, those two things are not possible. Each situation is different, and needs to be handled appropriately depending on a variety of variables (the age of the children involved, the type of incident, the number of children involved, the timing of the alleged incident or incidents).

Sometimes we need to take the time to ask a lot of questions about a problem situation. Some people say that there are two sides to every story. I disagree. In my experience, when dealing with accusations of bullying or mean behaviours, there are often more than two sides to the story. It takes time to sort out the complex issues that children (or adults) bring up when faced with an emotionally charged situation.

Creating a safe and caring school takes planning. We need to have an agreed upon set of behaviours that the staff will follow to respond to allegations of bullying and to support all children in the school. We have a PBIS system (Positive Behaviour Interventions and Supports) helps the staff catch children doing good things, and redirects children who may need different supports.

Tonight, I will review all the data from the Safe & Caring Schools Social Responsibility Survey and prepare to share the information with staff and  the School Planning Council to help with planning our next steps. Tomorrow and Thursday I will work with other schools to review the ERASE Bullying strategy and develop some plans on how I will continue to work with the Cleveland students, staff and parents to ensure that Cleveland is a safe and caring community.

Over the next two months, we will review our school’s code of conduct and update it. I will share information at our monthly CPAC meetings, and take in any input parents wish to provide. I will also review the Code of Conduct at a future staff meeting.

Every day I will continue to visit classes, wander around outside before school, after school, during recess and lunch breaks, and keep talking to students. I will listen, I will watch, and I will help. I will do my part to help create a safe and caring school, and I ask that everyone else helps out too.

I don’t believe that bullying is rampant among our students, but we can do better.

Take care