Warning: soapbox alert. The opinions are definitely my own.
This weekend, it is very hard to not think about Amanda Todd (15), Megan Meir (13), Rachel Ehmke (13) and many other children who have suffered. All three girls committed suicide. Their tales are tragic.
When events like Amanda Todd’s suicide hit the news, we often hear about what schools need to do. We do need to do something, but this is a far bigger than schools can handle. We need help.
Society has to do a lot more work in helping to create a culture where victims of sexual exploitation or cyber-bullying are not made to feel guilty about what happened to them. Daphne Bramham (Vancouver Sun) wrote “In Canada, girls aged 13 to 15 are now at the highest risk of being sexually assaulted.” (from Amanda’s tormentors were worse than mere bullies). This fact should scare everyone, and we need to do something about it.
We also need to be concerned about boys. Ms. Bramham wrote, “The more sexualized images of girls or women that boys see, the more sexist their beliefs become…”
We have a lot to do in helping children stay safe online. We live in a culture saturated with media and negative stories and images about other people.
We need to become better role models and show children it is not ok to say bad things about other people or to put down someone for how they look (or act or dress or pray). We need to stop buying those magazines that insult celebrities for gaining weight. We need to stop watching those shows that laugh at people. We need to stop getting mad at people who cheer for the wrong team and insult them.
I am not saying we all do bad things in front of children, but children are growing up in a world where a lot of their role models are behaving poorly. We need to show them better role models.
Children need our help.
Children need to know that there are adults who can help. If there are no “tellable” adults in their schools, then schools need to do better.
Children need lessons from parents and schools about online behaviour.
Children need to know that they can make mistakes and mistakes cannot be allowed to haunt them for the rest of their lives.
In the past, I have posted a few links that dealt with social media issues:
There are many more links out there for good resources for families. Spend the time looking for them, and talk with your children.
Last year we brought Jesse Miller of Mediated Reality in to talk to students in grades 4, 5, 6 and 7. The staff and Cleveland PAC felt that it was such an important topic for students to hear. In November of last year, I wrote:
Some questions that I think should be asked:
- Do you know your child’s online habits?
- Does your child have a computer in his/her bedroom?
- Does your child keep his/her phone (or Ipod Touch) in the bedroom over night?
- Do you talk to your children about online or texting behaviours?
- Have you ever read their text messages?
The Internet and the rest of the wired world is a great place. Let’s help children learn how to safely navigate their way through.
At Cleveland we have a counsellor (Sara Hart), who is available to any child who is feeling bullied or picked on. Students are encouraged to talk to their teachers or see Ms. Orr (Vice-Principal) or myself. Parents are encouraged to keep in touch with their child’s teacher(s) and let them know if they suspect something is wrong. Every school works hard to help children when dealing with social or bullying issues. We must help all children, those who say they are being bullied, and those who are accused of being a bully.
Not every parent will agree with what we do to help in these situations. They may want to see a public punishment for the bully, and don’t always agree that their child played a part in the problem. Sometimes it is bullying. Sometimes it isn’t. As a principal I have been yelled at for not punishing a child who the parent called a bully. I have had parents angry at me because his/her child did nothing wrong in calling that child a “xxxx” and “kids do it all the time.” I have been witness to many emotional moment with families who are dealing with children’s challenges at school.
Bullying is a complex issue. It is an emotional issue.
Bullying issues take time to understand. When dealing with issues like bullying, it is hard to be patient and work with the school. Sometimes you and your child may have been dealing with a bullying issue for months and no one at the school knows. Please keep the channels of communication open between you and your child’s teacher(s).
Schools and families must work together to help children who are having social and emotional problems. Bullying is not the only issue we deal with, but it is a very important issue.
Please visit Kids Help Phone (www.kidshelpphone.ca).
Take care.