I find myself wondering about the word no and how people respond when they ask something and the answer is no. How do I respond to no?
It may be just me, but it seems that more and more people are not willing to accept no for an answer (i.e. some Republicans in the U.S. House of Representatives). It can be hard to teach children accept no for an answer if we adults can’t model this.
There have been many articles and stories about children hearing no far too many times in their lives, and we need to look at others ways to help children learn instead of saying no. I agree with using the word less, but no will always have a place in my teaching.
I think no is still a very good word. There are times when no is the best and only answer that I feel like giving. For instance:
- A child asks, “Can I go on the roof of the school to get my ball? My response, “No.”
- A grade 7 boy who is finished his work, “Can I do whatever I want now?” My response, “No.”
I do sometimes use words other than no for some student questions:
- A student asks me at 10:30 am, “Can I go home?”, My response, “Why yes, but after 3:00 pm.”
- A student asks me, “Do you know how to spell antidisestablishmentarianism?” My response, “I’m not sure. Let’s look it up.”
I think it is good for us to hear no every once in a while. I also believe that there are many situations where the no answer needs to be explained to help people understand why no was the answer. For the two no answers above, I would not have stopped at the word no. I could have added:
- “I will ask the custodian if he can go on the roof to get the ball.”
- “If you are finished, please select from one of the options I have already given you.”
For such a short word, no is quite powerful. When I googled the phrase “How often do children hear the word no?”, I found 128,000,000 hits. Some of the links I found are below (I did look past the first page of the Google results):
- Why Your Kids Need to Hear the Word ‘No’
- Stop Saying “No“!- Tips for Positive Parenting
- The Power Of No
- How to Say No (Without Saying No)
- The Word No: A Great Word for Daughters to Hear
Is no a bad word? No, it is not. I will try to be mindful before I use no as an answer. I will try to think of words other than no.
I have to get ready for recess now. No more time to write for today.
Take care