About Me
User Guide: Schombing
Brand: Student
Model: Dylan Schombing, iOS 1.3
Product Guide
Congratulations on you new student, Schombing 1.3, commonly referred to as “Dylan”. Your new student’s functions include, but are not limited to:
Enjoyment of learning new things
Enjoyment of everything and anything involving film and/or T.V.
Capability to provide random facts with or without being prompted
Being brutally honest
The occasional (good natured) sarcastic comment
Getting Started
Before you access your Schombing 1.3, be sure you are running CommonDecency.exe, or your Schombing 1.3 will not respond pleasantly.
Accessibility
Schombing 1.3 is easily accessible at most times of the day. After school, you can reach Schombing 1.3 on iMessage. Schombing 1.3 usually responds within an hour if he is not busy. If your Schombing 1.3 is not answering his phone, you can get his attention by yelling “Dylan!!!” In his general direction, but please refrain from that unless it is absolutely necessary. Due to a recent glitch, Schombing 1.3 will automatically delete CommonDecency.exe if you continually try to get his attention by yelling his name in a rude fashion. If your Schombing 1.3 asks you to stop yelling his name and you continue, he could activate stopnowortherewillbemajorconcequences.TXT. If this is activated, the only way to reinstall CommonDecency.exe is to activate apology.TXT.
Settings
Schombing 1.3 has two major settings. Student and Normal Person.
Setting 1: Student
Schombing 1.3 is set to student mode between the hours of 8:30am – 3:00pm. If you install homework.TXT onto your Schombing 1.3, student mode can go to up to 8:00pm
Setting 2: Normal Person
Schombing 1.3 is usually set to normal person mode from 3:00pm to 7:00am, and is also set to Normal Person mode on weekends. On Normal Person mode, Schombing 1.3 is much more relaxed.
Warnings
This device may be prone to:
Distraction
Unnecessary tangents about unrelated topics
Troubleshooting
Problem |
Solution |
CommonDecency.exe has been uninstalled |
Install apology.exe |
Grumpy |
Provide your Schombing 1.3 with a cup of coffee and/or some food |
You are unable you reach your Schombing 1.3 through iMessage |
Approach your Schombing 1.3 in person |
Your Schombing 1.3 is unable to focus |
Politely ask your Schombing 1.3 to focus and/or uninstall distraction.exe from your Schombing 1.3’s software. |
Tips To Maintain Optimal Performance
- Be interesting
- Make sure you are running CommonDecency.exe before interacting with your Schombing 1.3